


Am I more than you bargained for yet?

by Shadow770



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bittybones, Anxiety, Daddy Kink, Depression, Eventual Smut, Freeform, I will probably add art later, I'm making this up as I go, M/M, Macro/Micro, Tags to be added, anti-social reader, extremely edgy sans, i really don't know what i'm doing, skelly heat, smol!sans, tiny angry sans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-06-03 18:10:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6620974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow770/pseuds/Shadow770
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have decided to buy a bitty, you're unsure how you're ever going to choose between all of the adorable smols, but one just seems to catch your eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're going to need more band-aids

**Author's Note:**

> this is seriously the first fanfiction I have written in years. That means go a little easy on me. I have smol feelings and they're easily stepped on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be nice i haven't written a story in ages. be gentle with me.

You've been considering getting a pet for a while. Pets keep you company, and that's a lot of what you didn't have. The thing is you already had a pet. Emergency Snack wasn't much of a pet, but a fish is still a pet, right? Regardless he didn't do all that much for you. You were an adult living alone, a fish wasn't going to do much for you other than make bubbles at you. You hadn't been seeing anyone and you needed something to do other than sit on your laptop and read shitty fanfics when you weren't at work. The thought made you itch to see if that one author had updat... No, no, that's not important right now.

What was important was was continuing research about Bitties. It was surprising that they were even available in your area. Jesus, there were so many types how would you ever make it though this forum? Some part of your brain began to make up excuses to get you off your laptop to do anything but read such complex material. Starting to cave in to shenanigans you glance to see if you have any coffee left in the kitchen. Nope. You suck on your tongue a bit, feeling your dry mouth, mild sleepiness encouraging you further to get off the couch and a way from the task at hand. 

_Do i really need a cup of coffee?_

_You're tired, your legs are restless, you're thirsty, and you're craving something sweet _your brain responds.__

PROCRASTINATION:1 DETERMINATION:0 

You get up from your warm couch cushion and make your way into the kitchen. You put coffee grounds and water into the pot and begin observing the house. Would a Bitty like it? Its a small house in the middle of nowhere but you put everything into it. Your art is put up all over the walls, hell, you painted the walls yourself. On the entertainment center you have pictures of friends you barely saw anymore. You felt a pang of guilt after that thought. maybe finding the right Bitty wasn't a matter of research. Bitties were like little people. maybe the right one would choose you? 

You take the now full pot of coffee and sit it in the refrigerator, you weren't going to need it anymore. You were going to let the bitty choose you. You were going to do that thing that you didn't know how to: relax. After making a few purchases on the internet. you were not going to sleep until you bought some obviously needed supplies for your new housemate. you needed a place for him to live, Bitties liked their privacy. you typed "doll house" into the search engine of amazon. the results you didn't like. They were a little too girly for you to even take seriously. You couldn't help but laugh. You, a grown man buying a doll house. one was almost decent, it didn't show the sides or the back, but for the price and the fact that it was a build-it-yourself model you just closed your eyes and clicked over night shipping for an extra $20. You looked back at the set and it came into your mind that if you were going to properly take care of a small person you'd need furniture in the tiny ass house. you groaned at the idea of spending more money on Amazon's cruel shipping prices, you reluctantly tabbed through the "also bought with" section. you mentally kick yourself for every dime you spend as you click ship. 

It was three in the morning before you got done looking at doll house paraphernalia. You weren't even going to bother buying clothes or fabric, you knew how to sew. In Home Ec. you kicked ass at sewing, and you made your own cosplays when you did go to conventions. Making small outfits would be too easy. You decided to just get a few extra yards of fabric at hobby lobby and dig through the mail for some coupons if you felt like it. Aside from food you felt like you had it handled. If he needed a toy you could either find something around the house or there'd surely be something at the pet store where they were selling him, right? Its a pet store for fuck's sake. 

With these thoughts rattling around in your head you shuffle to your room down the hall and strip yourself for bed. You take your night time pills that you should have taken hours ago and curl up into your bed. It comforts you that maybe you wont always have to sleep alone anymore, but it still doesn't make your brain stop with thoughts about what your bitty will be like, or if hell even like someone like you. your insecurities drift up the most right before you sleep. You take a deep breath, focus everything on silence, often imagining a soft low hum of static helped, you listen to that sound in your head until you drift asleep. 

\------------ 

You wake up to someone knocking at your door. you roll over in your pile of blankets, hoping the persistent knocker will go away, but you deemed him persistent for a reason. you roll out of bed. On the way out you grab your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajama pants and slip them on. Knocking ever so annoying. You open the door to see a young FedEx man in his little out fit, hed be cute, if it werent for the outfit and the fact that he'd already pissed you off. "Hello you are you mist... Oh..." 

His voice trailed off and you were suddenly confused,"What is there something wrong?"

Your eyes trailed to where he was looking. You had an awkward morning boner. Oh was right. Well then. Your face started getting red fast "So, uh, i-I assume you have my packeges? Oh, fuck. M-my, my shipments. My stuff? Is there anything you need me to sign, pleaseletmesignsomethingbeforethisgetsmoreawkward" 

He handed you the clip board and told you to sign the blank space at the bottom. You gave it the messiest signature you have ever written in your life. You nearly shoved the clip board into his chest grab the boxed and close the door. You hated yourself for being a stuttering mess. You slumped against the door. You just needed to take a moment to breathe. At least your boner died down... 

After your small meltdown and you got dressed you were ready to go. you decided to go by hobby lobby first. You'd rather spend more time bonding with your bitty than be picking out fabric. You grabbed a few dark colors that were made out of a shirt-like material, you thought you were done until you noticed a dark grey fleece with red, black, and light gray dots on it. For a blanket your size it would be a spotted blanket, for a bitty its nearly the Blurryface album from Twenty-One Pilots. you grab it too, and of course the ninja turtle and space patterns. If you cant make blankets you can make hoodies, and you'll make him wear them for at least a day. 

You finish up with the fabric and drive to the pet store. As you park your car you feel nervous. You're terrified that none of them will like you. If your mother was getting one she'd say, "Well I'm paying for it, so it better like me." You knew all your life you were nothing like her, or what she wanted you to be. you sit up straight and take a deep breath. You're nothing like her, and you're grateful, there's bound to be at least one Bitty to like you just for that. You get out of the car and make your way to the door. There's no backing out or making stupid excuses for you beyond that door. 

A bell rings above your head as you walk in. Obviously most of the space in the store was used for whatever was going on in the back with the bitties, which was most likely inventory and care taking. Bitties clearly had free rein here. they were everywhere. Sleeping on shelves, playing with each other, teleporting everywhere, few attempting to cause havoc, it was too cute. A couple walked by you and out the door, holding a sleeping little bony cutie. A woman in a uniform made her way to you, she was taller than you by a few inches, which wasn't surprising considering you were pretty short. "Are you here to adopt?" 

"Yes, but i don't know what kind of bitty i should get..." you felt uncomfortable, and like an idiot for having no idea what you were looking for. 

"Oh, that's perfectly fine. would you like to meet them?" You just nodded shocked and surprised at how nice she was being. She led you over to an area that kind of reminded you of dog training area of pet smart but more friendly. You sat in the middle of the circle, as soon as you did the Bitties came out to investigate. they swarmed around you, curious to see what human was in the play area this time. You gladly welcomed the little ones, letting them climb up your jeans and teleport all around you. some would teleport on to your shoulders and play with your gauges, some seemed to be there to to try to bite you and run away when you flinched, one decided to test his luck and teleport into the curls on the top of your head. Before you knew it you were covered in tiny skeletons, and several of them were starting to ask you questions about your tattoos, your gauges, your name, simple things. It seemed every single bitty in the store was with you, but you noticed one sitting in the corner watching you. 

He looked more like the ones that tried to bite you, you remembered that was a specific personality type. hes so small yet hes dressed in dark punk style clothes, probably to make him look threatening, he had a single gold tooth in his sharp, menacing maw. He looks away the moment he sees you looking at him. You tell all the little ones you need to stand up and they give you room. You make your way over to the loner and sit in front of him. He looks up at you like he doesn't understand why you're there. You say hi and smile at him. He huffs and looks away. You laugh at his little display, its hard to take him seriously with him being this small. he flips you off when he hears you laughing. You boop his little nose cavity, giving him an opportunity to bite your finger. You yelp. It was now his turn to laugh. You examine your finger, small pin pricks of blood forming, he's now looking at you like you're going to hurt him for it. 

"You're not very friendly, are you?" You ask him as you lick the blood off. 

"Why would I be?" 

"Don't you want to get adopted?" you look at him quizzically, "Isn't that kind of a goal of all Bitties? Get adopted and find a good home?" 

"Not all homes are so great dumb ass. Most humans will return one of us after the first bite. Hell, all humans are the same. They all get rid of us eventually." He was trying to look angry but you could see the pain in the tiny red lights of his eye sockets. 

You two just sat there staring at each other. You could tell just by the look on his face that didn't believe that there were any good humans left. You wanted so bad to give him a good home. You'd be good to him, you wanted to show him that you were different. You fidgeted, feeling very uncomfortable, the silence was killing you inside. You didn't know what to say, and he wasn't going to say anything. 

When you had almost resolved to breaking the unbearable stare down, you felt a hand on your shoulder. The woman that introduced you to all the Bitties was smiling down at you. in her other hand she had a band-aid. "Have you found someone you want to adopt?" 

You glance over at the little grumpy skeleton in the corner, he crosses his arms and meets your gaze with a glare. Yup, you had a pretty good idea who you were going to try to adopt. You looked up at her and nodded quickly. "Great let's get the papers ready and well get everything ready for him." 

You got up out of the floor and she put she band-aid on your finger. "So, is it going to be little Edgy?" She asked, her eyes filled with hope. 

"Edgy?" 

"The little guy you were talking with in the floor." 

"Oh, yes. I forgot to ask his name." 

"Oh my god, thank you," she hugged you tightly, squeezing the air out of you. She let go of you the moment she realized what shed done, "Oh, I'm so sorry. It's just he's been returned so many times. He's been in so many homes, and hes been here the longest. its awful. I shouldn't get my hopes up but he needs someone!" 

"How long has he been here?" 

She sighed and sat down behind the desk, "Two and a half years, that's including the returns. He's been here for three months this time, and the last woman only kept him for three weeks. He can be a handful, but he can also be very sweet. Do you still want to adopt him?" 

You thought about it for a minute. He had already proven to be a biter, and it sounded like he probably just got upset and destroyed things, you had plenty of things from your mother that he could destroy and you wouldn't give it a second thought, oh how you hated her passive aggressive shit. "Yes, I'm determined to do this." 

She smiled brightly and pulled adoption papers out of the desk. "I-is there anything I-I can do to make him more comfortable? I-I know he doesn't r-really like me..." 

She paused and looked up from the papers, "Its not that he doesn't like you. He probably does. Hes scared to get close to any human. Two and a half years of being adopted and taken back is a long time. When you bring him to your home hes going to need time and space." 

"I bought a dollhouse. W-would that help?" 

She nodded vigorously "Him having his own space will help tremendously, it might take a few days for him to open up." 

You relaxed a little, you did something right. She leaned forward and handed you the papers, "You only need to sign where I highlighted." 

You went filled out your part and handed the papers back. She quickly looked over them and put them in the filing cabinet. She picked up a small carrier from the corner and left to go get "Edgy". You looked around the room while you waited. There were pictures of workers with the Bitties when they first opened, a bunny woman stood with all the workers in one, there were several of happy owners with their Bitties. You how long the store had even been open, Edgy had been there for two and a half years, the Bitties that you saw in the store weren't in any of the pictures. You felt sick just thinking about how he must feel constantly being taken back, and abused on top of that. You were going to do everything you could to make him feel welcome. You were going to love him the way he deserved. 

The door opened interrupting your thoughts, the woman came through with carrier in hand, Edgy was sitting in the far corner with a packet of mustard looking at you with little eye simply filled with mistrust. Yeah, he thought you were full of shit. He sucked more mustard out of the package, that was barely smaller than him, never taking those eyes off of you. Despite the aura of hate he was giving off he was really cute like that. You smirked at him and pulled out your phone. He shot you a "don't you fucking dare" look. As if that was going to stop you. you weren't one for pictures, but this was too cute to pass up, with him practically growling over his mustard packet like an angry little kitten. You managed to get a couple before he he threw his mustard in your direction, leaving a nasty yellow streak on the plastic. The woman giggled at the display, you laughing heartily. You suddenly realized something, you turned to her, "Hey, I'm sorry but i never asked for your name." 

She blushed it looked cute on her tan skin. "Oh, i-its Fawn." she brushed her hair behind her ear. She grabbed a pen from behind her desk and a Post-It note. she wrote down her name and number and the name of the store, at the bottom it said for Edgy. Handing it to you she said, "Call me if you have any trouble with Edgy, or even need anything for him." 

"Actually, what does he eat? Aside from mustard obviously?" You asked tucking the number be hind your phone case. 

She glanced at him with mock disappointment, he grinned back cheekily. "Try to make sure he eats more than just mustard. He can live off of it for a while but eventually he needs some form of nutrition. Milk and anything with calcium is always good for him." 

Well now you know how to get rid of that mustard you never use... That was a fairly simple and obvious diet. You could have been able to figure that out on your own but you wanted to double check. You said your good byes to Fawn and Edgy with you. You could already tell he hated the fact that you drove an SUV, but it was your SUV and you loved it, and by love you mean trashed it. He seemed almost at ease when he saw the fast food bags and empty bottles in the floor. You were the trash lord. You don't earn that title by accident, and he was simply chill with it. You love him already. 

He watched out the window as best he could from the clear plastic container. He perked up a bit as soon as he saw all of the trees that led to your "neighborhood" if a total lack of neighbors and maybe the occasional deer in the morning counted as a neighborhood. He chucked at your shit excuse for living in the middle of nowhere, then tried to act like he was coughing. He got very tense when you parked. He wore an expression you knew all too well, fear. He was trembling. "You okay?" 

"Fuckin' peachy," He hissed. He hadnt even looked at the place and he was already anxious. 

"Is there anything I can do to help?" He looked at you like this was some sort of trap. 

"Could you maybe, just... Hold me for a second?" You had no idea he could blush, but he was. You could feel your heart melting. You took the lid off of the carrier and held your hand out for him. He reached out, gingerly touching your finger first, as if he regretted biting you. You doubted it. He climbed into your hand slowly, pulling himself up with your band-aid. When he pulled it loose he pressed it back down. Maybe he was a little sorry. 

"Just tell me when its too much, okay?" 

He simply blinked in response, there were little red tears forming in his eye sockets. You brought him to your chest. He froze up. With your free hand you cupped his back and stroked his little skull with your thumb. He started sobbing. He grabbed little fist fulls of your shirt and just cried. When you removed your hand from his back, he looked up at you like you were about to leave him. You reclined your seat so it would be more comfortable for both of you. Your casual action seemed to make him confused. He was so sad. You leaned down and kissed his head. "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so damn nice when you're going to fucking get rid of me?" 

"I'm not getting rid of you. I didn't drive two towns over to get so I could get rid of you later, I didn't try so hard to make sure everything was ready for you just so I could be done with you. I'm serious about this." 

"YOU'RE LYING! YOU'RE FUCKING LYING! ALL HUMANS LIE! YOU DON'T WANT ME!" he screamed at you punching your chest, his little bony fists softly thunked against your chest. About ten minutes in he started clawing at you, as long as he didn't hurt himself you were okay with him venting in what ever way he needed to. For now. He was got hoarse a few minutes later, as if that stopped him. The clawing was hurting a lot at this point, he'd gone straight through the shirt. You gasped in pain when he hit a really painful point, which, naturally, made your rips expand suddenly enough for him to notice. 

"oh, fuck" he mumbled, looking at the blood on his hands. He looked down at what he'd done to you. He clutched his scull, "Ff-fuck. imsorryimsorryimsorry..." 

You went to pet him again, he flinched away like you were going to hit him. "So, do you want to see the house now?"


	2. This Is War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to write the first part more in Edgy's pov. The rest is pure tomfoolery and bonding awkwardly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly surprised at how much attention this has gotten in just a few days, I was expecting it to be totally ignored for the first week of publication. You're all great and thanks for the love, I really need it.

"So, do you want to see the house now?"

Edgy looked up at you like you were crazy. he just scratched the hell out of you, not only were you ignoring it, but now you wanted to take him in your house? He was beginning to wonder if you were nice or just crazy. Why didn't you retaliate? Why weren't you even mad? You were a weird human. He searched your face for any sign of anger or resentment, but it was still you, that (so far) never swaying, strangely patient human, with that stupid adoring look on your face. 

You seemed to get tired of waiting on an answer and opened the door of the shitty SUV, why would you drive such a hideous car? You seemed to young to be a father, and yet you had a mom van and enough trash for five kids. God he hoped you didn't have kids. He clung to your thumb as you lifted him when you got out. well at least your house wasn't as awful as the trash wagon, he guessed it must have been your catch-all. It was a small house, just big enough for two people to live comfortably. 

"We don't have to go in right away. If you want we can stay out here for a few minutes," you said suddenly, nearly making fall out of your hand. 

He shakes his head. everything has already been so embarrassing, he just wanted to get it over with. Before you take him in you remember the fabric you had bought before and get it out of the car. He is even more puzzled at the fact you went to such lengths for him. You couldn't be serious about making him clothes. Not to mention, why? Most of his previous owners just put doll clothes on him that didn't fit right, if that even. Before he knew it you were at the door. "Ready?"

"No," he said. he was anxious.

"Do you want to-"

"No! ... just get it over with."

He wasn't sure what he was expecting you to have inside, but it was exciting and anticlimactic at the same time. It was a just a normal house inside, obviously you weren't a great house keeper either, but it wasn't like a crack house or something. It was just. Messy. What was impressive was the fact that there was artwork all over the walls. It all seemed to go together in a sort of way. So he assumed this was all yours or you just obsessed with someone else. 

One thing that did look interesting was a tank filled with water off on a table. he teleported over. there was a surprising amount of stuff in the tank although it looked like there was nothing in there. He could hear you coming closer. "What's in here"

"Just Emergency Snack." you said pointedly, almost as if you were asked as if what time it was. Emergency Snack? "He's my fish."

Your statement yielded no answers, but you were laughing at him now. "Why would you name a fish Emergency Snack? Is that your idea of some kind cruel joke?" he asked mock accusingly. 

"It was that or Survival Rations, my friend helped me pick between the two." you picked up a container of fish food and threw in a few flakes. A scarlet betta fish swam out of a fake coral lazily to examine, after seeming to realize he didn't care for the food he went down to rest in a fake anemone. "Yeah, this is why he has a ridiculous name, it will probably end up being the most interesting part of his life." 

He couldn't help but laugh at such a shit explanation.  
_________

 

"Oh, uh... I o-ordered a house for you off of the internet. I-I was doing research and the website said you would probably need it... Sooooo... Do you want to put it together now?" You felt a little pushy asking this. You wanted to make him comfortable, but you also didnt want to come off like a too much of a dweeb to him. At least he seemed to like ES, that was good. You wanted to bond with him as much as you could that day.

"Uh, sure?" he smiled nervously. God he was cute. You went to the door and drug the box over to where he was sitting in front of the fish tank. You pulled the out your tiny pocket knife key chain an cut the tape open. he watched you intently, you tried not to notice. As soon as you opened the box you dug around for a manual, you needed to make sure there wasn't going to be any Ikea shit going down in this house. You thumbed through it, all pieces were going to have to be hot glued together seeing as the "wood" was too thin for even tiny nails. There was a picture in the book of a mother helping a little girl with a tiny glue gun, pathetic, your glue gun was industrial sized, not to mention discontinued.

_Probably for burning the flesh off its victims_

You stood up and stretched, this was going to be an interesting project. "I'm going to find my glue gun, see if you can figure out what pieces we need first. Call 911 if you hear screaming," you said walking down the hall. 

Your storage closet wasn't exactly safe, and by safe you mean it was dusty and filled with spiders. You opened the door and were immediately greeted by the leaning tower of boxes. you needed to get off your lazy ass sometime and do something with all the junk in your life. You stood on your toes to reach the top box. No idea what was in there. You opened it and weren't too surprised to see it was filled with random junk. From old gifts that you never liked, candles you didn't have room for, even clothes, this box had it all. you set it down. The glue gun was actually kept in a box with "craft stuff", you just had to work your way to that level. The next box had fabric scraps in it, why did you go buy more again? The box below that had Taco Bell sauce. You couldn't help but be disappointed and proud. Taco Hell was your first job, and your worst, so when you quit you made sure to steal all of the sauce one day, just because of how you were treated there. Maybe a little someone would be interested in the remnants.

You move a few more boxes when you finally see "CRAFT STUFF" written on the top of a box. It appears you did label it after all. You go to open it when a large brown spider crawls on to the top. You choose that as the moment to scream. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" 

You jump away from the box and back up against the wall. at this moment as far as you were concerned, the little mother fucker could have the box. It could have your glue gun and anything it wanted in the closet. The damn thing just looked at you, backed up against the wall shaking in fear. You were feeling paranoid, what if it had friends? Oh, fuck if it had friends you were dead. Your skin felt hot and prickly, your heart was pounding in your chest, all over a fucking spider. You felt unclean. You were probably going to burn that box if you didn't end up falling and breaking your neck on all of the junk you set around you. 

"______?!" you felt a small weight on your shoulder, nearly causing you to jump out of your skin. Edgy was looking at you his eye sockets wide, the look on your face didn't help. "Are you okay? What the fuck happened?" 

You just pointed you were too spooked to speak. His eyes followed your finger, and he saw what you were pointing at. He stood there for a moment, and then he burst out laughing. You glowered at him. This was serious, and he was laughing at you. He laughed even harder when he saw the look on your face. "You-you're really afraid of that? You're afraid of a-a little spider?" 

He wheezed, how he even did that with out lungs you'd never know. His eyes darkened, then one became aflame with a glowing red iris. He used his magic to pick up a coffee cup out of the box and slam it into the creature. You slumped against the wall, that was impressive, to say the least. You looked at him, still perched on your shoulder, he looked proud, like he just-sleighed-a-dragon-for-you proud. It was too cute. You picked him up and kissed the top of his head, making him blush crimson. He put his hand on your nose and tried to push you away. He was getting used to your constant bull shit.

With glue gun in hand and a way too proud edgy on your shoulder, you make your way back to the doll house. It seemed that during your altercation with the spider he had most of the pieces sorted out, all that was left now was to glue it together. That ended up being the easy part. The doll house itself turned out to be a shade of green that looked like pea soup. You both deemed this a sad and inappropriate color for his home, paint was needed inside and out, and he wanted it black and red. 

You tried to get up to go your room for paint, beyond the previous mess you made, when you felt a little someone crawl up to your shoulder. You smirked at him. "What are you doing?" 

He blushed and looked at you indignantly, "Someone's gotta keep you outta trouble." His little pinprick eyes trembled with the same look he had after he saved you from the spider, it was too cute for words. You pet the top of his head with your finger and he reluctantly let you, after much grumbling. You thankfully had easy access to paint in your room, something he was also amazed with. When you showed him the hat box you kept your paint supplies in, he crawled in and picked out an... interesting color scheme. mustard yellow, blood red, black, and grey were all in his selection, after much convincing you talked him into a dark blue.

When you were able to start painting he insisted on doing the inside, you told him that was fine as long as you could paint the outside and keep it from looking like a miniature crack house. 

It war. Before long you were both covered in paint, him more than you, at least he had the foresight to take off his little jacket and sweater, you on the other hand were covered in little dick paintings, and much to your dismay you did have a gingerbread crack house sitting in your living room. On the side of it there was a giant red dick still dripping. On the top in small writing was "fuck off" in yellow, your response, "eat my ass", was on the little front door. You could still see a puddle of the blue paint through the tiny window where you attempted to squirt him with the bottle. There was black all over you where he had retaliated using his magic. There would be no recovery from this. 

You were sprawled out on the floor in defeat, he was resting on the small of your back, the only clean place left. There was no way in hell that either of you were getting out of baths tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bath time chapter. This is where it gets some of that m rating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm seriously so sorry it took me so long for this chapter. I had to get my exams and reviews done and after that there was graduation stuff. This took me much longer than I planned, and thanks for the comments and love even while I was dragging my ass.

Your world was now covered in dicks. This was your life now... dicks. It was almost as if Andrew Hussie had come by and dropped a bucket of plush smuppet ass on your doorstep. Your body was now a penis mosaic thanks to Edgy, and his little home certainly had its share. You had apparently crashed on the floor, giving him time to add some more dripping gentiles to your face. You now didn't trust him while you were sleeping. He did do something overwhelmingly cute though, he figured out where the band aids were and tried to patch up that little wound on your chest. he used probably twelve different types of them, but he tried. 

You needed a bath and so did he, especially for the little crack house. even Walter White wouldn't come near this little disaster. At least the little ass hole tried to scrape some of the paint off of himself. 

_hes my ass hole though..._

You had to admit he was cute when he was sleeping, the way he snored a little too low for someone so small. The thing that melted your heart was the way clung to you like he was afraid you were going to vanish into thin air. It was precious. 

You kept him in place as you got up, avoiding all the mess you could. The last thing you wanted to do was make a bigger mess. You strode down to the bathroom, still cradling edgy. 

He was about the size of a soda bottle, or a peace tea, so he could probably fit in the sink pretty easily... god you wanted a peace tea, especially snow ber- No! You needed to focus on getting both of you clean. You filled the sink up with water and squirted some of your body wash in with it. You had a decent sized hand towel ready for him when you were done scrubbing every inch of him. Maybe this would be easy...?

You sat on the edge of the bathtub and plucked him up, you set him in your lap, he grumbled but didn't make any real words. He just sat up for a second before slumping over and going back to sleep. You tried to speak to him, you said his name, you asked him to wake up; Nothing. You decided this called for a new approach. You petted his head a little, and he began to snore. You rolled your eyes and prodded his ribs gently. He made a sound but nothing much. You try again, he rolled over to where hes snuggling your belly. "C'mon we need to get baths. It's the middle of the freaking day, you lazy bum," you groaned.

He hid his face in your shirt like a teen trying to hide from life in the covers. There was no mercy for him there. You poked at the lower part of his spine, he made a noise. it was beginning to look like victory for you. You tried again, in a more ticking fashion. it didn't take you long before you realized you were waking him up, but not in the way you intended. His little face was covered in red, the sounds he was making weren't begs for mercy. Those were him trying to cover his moans. Oh, goody goody gumdrops, you fucked up.

You face palmed, your hand slapped your face loudly. That would probably leave a mark for a while. Physical pain was not nearly as bad as the embarrassment you felt. It was way too early in your day for this shit. You were an idiot beyond measure, and now there was an awkward silence. 

It was killing you inside. What the hell were you going to say? "Hey man sorry for feeling you up soon as you fucking woke up because I don't know how you work?" Yeah, that would go over real well. You were internally freaking out and trying your best not to look at him. He was probably hella pissed at you for that. You had just brought him home and there you were feeling the little guy up like an idiot. 

Edgy had enough of you silently arguing with yourself. He bit the hand that wasn't covering your face. It didn't hurt too much, but it did bring you to reality. He was as red as you probably were. 

"Jesus. Fuck- I didn't... god- fuuuck." You were having a melt down, drowning in self loathing. He all he did was look up at you like you were an idiot. You were trying to mentally make yourself implode and he was just sitting there, staring up at you watching your face an ears turn beet red. He was trying not to laugh, you looked so pitiful. 

He burst out laughing and you were so done. You felt embarrassed before but now you were mildly pissed. Mildly. Trying to apologize and he just laughed in your face. _he's an ass._ You decided you were done feeling bad and sat him on the sink. "Strip. Now."

"You're really comin' on to me today, aren't ya?" The smirk on his face was infuriating, not to mention the fact that he was clearly trying to embarrass you more. You narrowed your eyes. "Dick wagon," you growled as you pushed him into the water with your finger, reveling in the little sploosh sound when he fell in. He came back up sputtering and looked unpleased.

"Wash yourself, scrub," you told him, you threw your shirt into some far corner of the room. You wanted the paint off of you NOW. You adjusted the water to a tolerable point and shimmied out of your paint covered pants. In to the corner they went. Fuck pants. Fuck filth. You stepped in and got to cleaning, scrubbing the dirt and all of the offensive acrylics out of your pores. The run off water was full of little flakes and was turning the water dark below you. Just simply feeling soap on your skin felt amazing. You squirted shampoo into your hand and lathered it into your hair, working it into your scalp.

You were a good was in to cleansing your body from filth before you noticed it. That feeling like you were being watched. You had some how didn't notice your little companion watching you. Why would he even? You looked over. He was still in the sink so bonus points for that. He was surrounded by blueish-black water and part of his head STILL had paint on it. 

You finished yours shower quickly and dried off. He had water up to his eyes and looked less than happy about the situation; he was probably unhappy that he needed your help getting all of the fucking paint off.

"Do you need help in there or are you just going to glare at me till the water goes cold?" you asked him, saltiness in your tone. A few bubbles escaped him, you couldn't help but smirk down at him, teasing him was beginning to be a new pass time. 

You procured an unopened tooth brush from the cabinet and began scrubbing away at him before the package even had a chance to fall to the floor. You worked as quickly and efficiently as you could to avoid his little fangs. He mostly bit the brush, but nicked your fingers constantly. Within an unreasonable amount of time his little bones were back to their proper ivory color, though it was hidden by the hand towel you used to turn him into a burrito. 

Bath time went a lot better than you thought it would. You decided he deserved a reward. You figured he'd like mustard now, that's what the woman said he liked, not to mention that's the only thing you've seen him eat. You were just going to open the fridge and grab the bottle--- welp. 

It appeared that at some point in the night someone got hungry in the middle of the night. The one and only bottle of mustard that you had was clearly empty. The thick ass plastic had a chunk taken out of it from the side, and mustard what mustard was left was dripping down the refrigerator door and on the floor. What made it ever worse was that you were pretty damn sure that it was full to begin with. 

During your discovery Edgy had escaped the confines of his burrito and had the towel draped around his bare bones like a wizard's cape. He was trying to sneak off without you noticing. A shadow fell over him. He could feel his sins crawling up his back.


End file.
